A helpful analogy for the homosexuality issue can perhaps be that of wearing braces for those who have crooked teeth.
But before I go on with the analogy of the braces, let me first elaborate on homosexuality. Homosexuality is considered to be a form of developmental disorder. Both biological predispositions and environmental factors contribute to the emergence of homosexuality. As the name “developmental disorder” implies, the homosexual’s development from childhood through adolescence may not follow the trajectory and norms as others have, and therefore causing homosexual tendencies and desires.
But what do I mean by “biological predispositions”? During pregnancy, the mother may slip and fall and any physical trauma to the womb may induce a higher proportion of female hormones to enter the foetus, leading to a “feminised brain” in the male child. This is suggested to cause the pre-homosexual boy to have certain feminine traits, though not necessarily growing up to be effeminate or “sissy”. Of course other “biological predispositions” such as character, personality, and temperament also influence how the homosexual turns out to be — perhaps he is born sensitive, not so athletic and is good at art etc.
Environmental factors often work together with biological predispositions in the emergence of homosexuality. The sensitive, artistic boy who does not like sports may not have many male friends. Females tend to be more receptive to the pre-homosexual boy and he finds himself accepted more amongst girls rather than boys. Perhaps the pre-homosexual boy may also come from a family where the father is physically absent or emotionally distant. He does not have an older male figure to be a positive role model for his masculinity and he is also brought up and nurtured by a dominating mother who spends much time with him.
Some psychologists would call homosexuality as a gender inferiority complex or masculinity inferiority complex. Having said this, I am not suggesting that homosexuals are necessarily effeminate or “sissy”. It is just that homosexuals were not affirmed or approved as masculine boys when they were young. During their childhood and/or adolescence, homosexuals were not nurtured to feel confident of their masculinity, or that they could ever meet the expectations or standard of being a “man”.
Why homosexuals fall in love with other men is because legitimate emotional needs they had during their formative years were not met. In other words, these emotional needs to bond with other males have become eroticised after puberty. These sexualised emotional needs now become lust for other men. Homosexuals yearn and long and crave for the love of other men to “fill the void” inside them. Homosexuals tend to be attracted to athletic, cheerful, good-looking, popular straight men because subconsciously the homosexuals wish they are like these straight men. This serves as the basis of homosexual attraction.
Homosexuals are not gays because homosexuality in its traditional sense of the word has always been understood to refer to behaviour or inclination. Gay is an identity. It is politicised and ideologically driven to represent a subculture. In other words, being gay is a choice and we need to always be discerning that NOBODY is born a gay. Whether a person is born to have homosexual thoughts and feelings is much more debatable and allows room for discussion. But just because a person experiences homosexual tendencies or desires does not necessarily mean that he must identify himself as a gay. Such labelling or categorisation traps or imprisons a person who is confused over his sexual orientation.
Back to the analogy of the braces. Some are born with smaller jaws than others and therefore they may grow up to have overcrowded teeth. Dentists would encourage parents to let their children wear braces. It is not out of vanity that children or teenagers wear braces. Of course wearing braces would make a person look better, but more importantly braces help to align the teeth so that the person will be able to chew food properly and have better oral hygiene etc.
In a sense, depending on how a person look at it, this issue of wearing braces has both biological and environmental factors. A person is born with smaller jaws than others — this is genetic. But what about the environmental factor? The child whose parents are ignorant and disallows him to wear braces or are too poor to afford braces may mean that the child who has overcrowded teeth will not be able to align his teeth. This may cause him not to be able to chew his food properly and he may also experience difficulties maintaining oral hygiene when he grows up.
Of course, nobody in this world is perfect, and this includes teeth. People may have charming, sparkling smiles but it does not mean their teeth are necessarily perfectly aligned. Yet, if overcrowded teeth is a problem, then all of us will agree that wearing braces is good for the child or teenager. And if the person, for whatever reason, is unable to wear braces, then we should encourage him to do so and help him to have access to dental treatment in order to wear braces.
So the issue of overcrowded, crooked teeth and wearing braces has both biological and environmental factors. Similarly, there are also biological and environmental factors which contribute to the emergence of homosexuality.
When a person experiences homosexual thoughts and feelings, this is due to years of biological predispositions and environmental influences. In a sense, the emergence of homosexuality is “silent”. We know about the sunrise because we see sunlight falling on our eyes. But by the time we see the sunlight, the sunrise is already over. In other words, we can never see the sun actually rising.
Because homosexuality is a developmental disorder, or as some psychologists would describe as masculinity inferiority complex, it is not a fixed, rigid condition that can never be changed. The basis of homosexuality is EMOTIONAL DEFICIT which occurs over time during the person’s formative years. In other words, nobody is born a gay. Homosexuality is a process which takes place over time during childhood and adolescence.
The risk of saying all of these is to pathologise homosexuality. That is, I hope I do not make homosexuality sound like some sort of disease or disability. But if we agree with the analogy of wearing braces, then the problem of overcrowded, crooked teeth due to small jaws is similar to a person who is born with certain character and personality traits who is more predisposed to be emotionally sensitive etc. And as for the parents who are ignorant and not well educated and disallows the child to wear braces or for the parents who are poor and cannot afford dental treatment, can be seen to be like the pre-homosexual boy who was never nurtured by his father (or any male role model) to be masculine, who did not have many male friends, and who spent most of his time with the mother. This is what I think about the analogy of wearing braces and how it runs parallel to the issue of homosexuality.
So the question really is — why is homosexuality “wrong” or “bad”? And why encourage homosexuals to change?
It is certainly not wrong for a person to have crooked teeth (and quite subjective here, too, since nobody has perfect teeth anyway…). But is it necessarily good? It is not wrong, but it may be bad. A person who cannot have a confident smile may feel inferior to others. Or a person who is not wearing braces may not be able to chew food properly and may have difficulties with oral hygiene. So, it may be good that a person wear braces after all since there are compelling benefits in the long run.
Is it wrong or bad to be a homosexual? It is difficulty to address this without going into religion and morals. But since homosexuality is a developmental disorder and masculinity inferiority complex, perhaps we need to encourage the person to overcome his homosexual thoughts and feelings and become more “normal”. (Once again, what is “normal” exactly?)
Homosexual tendencies or feelings are not “normal” since they are symptoms of something which has gone wrong. The person SHOULD be heterosexual, not homosexual or bisexual. But because of certain biological predispositions or environmental factors, the child is unable to develop “normally”. Similarly for the child who has smaller jaws than others, his teeth becomes crooked because they are overcrowded. But if the parents do not allow or afford braces, his teeth cannot develop normally. I see crooked sexuality and crooked teeth as “developmental disorders” in the sense that their development did not go the right way. Their development was “arrested” or deviant.
For the person who has overcrowded and crooked teeth, there is help and hope to have a good smile and good oral hygiene. Braces are available. So similarly, there is help and hope to change, for the homosexual who is not contented with his unwanted homosexual tendencies and desires to overcome his struggles.
Now, what is wrong with the gay identity and gay culture then?
The gay identity and culture is a social construct. There is nothing inherent or intrinsically “gay” about it. How it all started was due to the Stonewall riots where homosexuals rebelled against the police to hold their parade in the 1960s. This was how the modern gay identity and culture emerged. Despite the fact that homosexuality had always existed in history and how homosexuality may even be prevalent in ancient China and classical Greece, there was never anything gay in history. Gay is a 20th century invention.
Can you imagine people who have overcrowded and crooked teeth being proud of their identity and refused to wear braces? Of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with crooked teeth. It is your choice to not wear braces. BUT can you imagine these people creating an identity for themselves? Perhaps they may call themselves the Crooked (because of their crooked teeth). They start going around telling parents that they should not make their children wear braces. These Crooked activists begin asserting their rights to have Crooked parades on the streets to flaunt their crooked teeth.
These Crooked teeth people have created an identity and culture out of their crooked teeth. From crooked (with a small ‘c’) to Crooked (with a capitalised ‘C’). They wear clothes in a certain fashion, they behave in a certain manner. They hold parades to exhibit their crooked teeth. They are against all parents who make their children to wear braces. These Crooked teeth activists accuse parents of being narrow minded and discriminatory. They advocate that children and teenagers should have the freedom to exercise their rights to make decisions on their own whether to have crooked or straight teeth. These Crooked teeth activists claim that anybody who thinks that chewing food properly and having good oral hygiene are prejudiced against people who have crooked teeth. They insist that people with smaller jaws to have the liberty to choose whether to wear braces or not.
Of course people who have crooked teeth must be able to choose and make decisions for themselves whether they want to wear braces or not.
But what I am trying to illustrate is how these imaginary Crooked teeth activists are like the gays. Crooked teeth activists must “convert” all who have crooked teeth to be Crooked. Similarly, gays must “convert” all who experience homosexual thoughts and feelings to be gay. The gays say, “If you like boys, you MUST be gay.” The gays say, “Your homosexual tendencies or desires mean that you are born a gay.”
Well, all of the above is not true.
Even straight teenagers and youths may experience homoerotic thoughts or feelings, and they may even engage in homosexual acts with other men, but it does not mean that they are gays. It does not even necessarily mean they are homosexuals!
So let us be aware of what homosexuality is and what being gay means. Let us be conscious of the fact that if a person who has homosexual tendencies and desires, we should always encourage him to change, to offer him help and hope that overcoming his homosexual struggles is possible, just as we would encourage a child or teenager who has crooked teeth to wear braces.
